Monsters of Rock Cruise 2022

Really with two Covid tests to pass before I could even get on the ship I was grateful even to get aboard this Monsters of Rock Cruise at all!! Others including some of the bands didn’t make it for that reason, but having decided ‘que sera sera’ I was determined to enjoy myself no matter what. Luckily, as usual, that was easy. The only problem I have really is that with several stages aboard and a number of events overlapping not to mention opportunities to go ashore it’s impossible to fit everything in and I always exhaust myself trying. I can only cover the things I managed to do, had I been able to split myself in several pieces I would have done everything!!

Pre Party

However things always begin with the Pre Party and I managed to get a great spot at the front for Rhinobucket, Vixen and Vandenberg. The rain held off except for a few Vixen numbers. There was a bit of a shock as Share Ross announced she would be taking a break from Vixen for a while and about half way through Julia Lage of Smith Kotzen assumed duties on bass. Mats Leven of Vandenberg has an amazing Coverdale like voice and so he made easy work of several Whitesnake numbers before they come back for a bit of Zeppelin and ‘Burning Heart’ as an encore. A great evening of great bands!

Day 1

I was straight into the action with Enuff Znuff in Studio B. Bucking the trend Chip Z Nuff has lost weight and is looking trim and they effortlessly croon their way through their first set. Buckcherry attacked their first set in the theatre starting off with three from the new album and mixing new stuff with massive classics like ‘Sorry’ and ‘Crazy Bitch’ they’re a surefire hit. Since Kix were running horrendously late I managed to snap some shots of Richie Kotzen in the theatre before making it back to catch the Kix set in full, always fun and a must see for me and much to my delight they played a lot of tracks from ‘Midnite Dynamite’. Of course, we missed Ronnie who unsurprisingly was not on the boat as he continues his recovery. This cruise Steve Whiteman informs those wanting any photos around the ship that the code word for a green light this time is ‘Sir Fucker’ making sure that only those who bother to make the shows get the selfies, fair enough!

Day 2

I started the day bright and early painting Alice Cooper at paint class with John Corabi and, as my humble efforts turned out better than I could have expected, the day is already off to a great start. We were docked in Cococay, The Bahamas but I did not make it off the boat instead I had my photo taken with Buckcherry and caught the energetic Crazy Lixx on the Pool Stage who went down a storm especially after performing ‘Anthem for America’. ’21 till I Die’ had men running to the front with both fists aloft like they had won the lottery. Stopping by to catch Brian Wheat and Rick Allen being interviewed by Eddie Trunk I caught Nestor in the theatre and John Corabi’s acoustic show full of sarcastic jokes and Motley Crue stories (snapping for posterity April Lee presenting him with a large black dildo, not sure anyone knew why, but by 6pm everyone is just rolling with it). Catching Winger Tuff, Slaughter, Dangerous Toys (with the singer of Rhino Bucket for ‘Sportin A Woody’) and Tokyo Motor Fist before I collapse into bed. Ted was his usual irrepressible self with a ‘Boobies make Me Smile’ T shirt running round the audience like a madman.

Day 3

But I’m up again for another excellent Paint class this time Jimi Hendrix with Richie Kotzen. After Dangerous Toys and catching the Nita Strauss and hilarious Faster Pussycat interviews with Eddie Trunk I see Vandenberg in the theatre and Crazy Lixx and Winger again on the Pool stage. Jens from Crazy Lixx decided to try a death defying tightwalk along the thin edge of the scaffolding at the side of the stage and makes everyone’s heart leap as he almost falls bass in hand, managing to get his balance and steady himself just in time to avert disaster. It is all the more amazing as I am told by their cabin neighbours that he was extremely hung over following the previous evening’s partying. Additionally vocalist Danny Rexon is carrying a war wound on his forehead from a basketball accident ‘you should have seen the other guy’. I catch a little Faster Pussycat on the Pool Stage, but have to split early to catch more of Richie Kotzen than I did yesterday. It was good to see the discerning Electric Boys also in the Gods. Buckcherry are another addiction as they finish their second and last show on the boat in the theatre mixing it up at the end with covers of Bryan Adams’ ‘Summer of 69’ and ‘Proud Mary’. By now schedule changes are keeping people on their toes, but whether by posters or chat in the lift or the electronic notice boards outside the theatre somehow word always gets around.

Day 4

We are in Mexico, although I start the day painting Eddie Van Halen with Kip Winger in the grand restaurant. I am less pleased with my efforts this time, but have to say I was still proud of myself when Kip tripped on the plastic sheeting narrowly missing head butting me with my quick as lightning deadpan response ‘Ah you fell for me Kip’ as he readjusted his specs. I forgo the delights of a Mexican Mall and instead enjoy the effortlessly cool Electric Boys in Studio B and a final encore performance by Vandenberg, Mats Leven definitely making himself the voice of the cruise.

An absolute highlight is the first Alice Cooper show. There is much hilarity as the sound fails for the first song but listening through earpieces the band is unaware and plays on while all the audience points to their ears. Eventually the penny drops and they leave the stage. Luckily it did not take long to fix and they are back in business. It’s all the hits, but without the vast castle set. We do get the zombie baby and the huge Frankenstein puppet and surprise surprise Taime Downe of Faster Pussycat in a duet with Alice on ‘School’s Out’.

Afterwards I enjoy war stories from Eddie Trunk (including the time he sent Blackie Lawless and Chris Holmes to a gay BDSM party in full stage gear by mistake… a likely story). Kix do another completely different set for their excellent second show with newer material and I see Enuff Znuff again this time Chip is wearing huge white Angel wings. I just have time to try to snap some shots of Faster Pussycat in completely black studio B before passing out soon as my head hit the pillow.

Day 5

I bag a front row seat to see Alice’s Q and A talking about times with Frank Zappa and Elvis and the truth behind the fate of the infamous chicken (see separate feature for full coverage). This makes me 90 minutes late for the final paint class painting Ozzy, but the tutor lets me stay another half an hour to get it finished and it turns out better than my Eddie Van Halen, which is a bit of a result.

I catch a Q and A with photographer Mark Weiss and learn about his early days getting arrested for bootleg KISS photos and taking pictures of Ozzy in the bath!

I get an ice cream and enjoy Tokyo Motor Fist on the Pool Stage.

I have to pack so there was just time for the second Alice show complete with his wife Cheryl in bloody wedding dress that she and Alice had improvised out of bed sheets that day as my final highlight before I am forced to think about checking in for my flight and making the long journey home.

Overview

Always amazing, never boring, this still remains the must do in my travel calendar every year. Next year is out of Port Canaveral in April and so far bands announced include Tesla, Reckless Love, Chez Kane, Dirty Looks and Wig Wam. I’m already there!!! I have an idea, what about virtual reality so you can go to the events afterwards in avatar form if you missed them in person, Larry are you listening? If so very well done!!! To pull this off under the stress of Covid and international flight bans deserves a medal, may you live long and prosper with many Monsters of Rock cruises to come!

Dawn Osborne